Overheard in New York

Girl #1: We had to go out and drink tonight, it's Lincoln's birthday! He did so much for us. Girl #2: Without Lincoln being born we might never have freed the slaves, and if we never freed the slav...

Construction worker #1: My girlfriend is being deported. Construction worker #2: Why, 'cause she's illegal? Construction worker #1: No, 'cause she's a fucking whore. --38th St & 9th Ave
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Flyer girl: Macbeth with Patrick Stewart! Tourist: Is that a magician? --TKTS
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White lady reading gossip magazine: Will you all be quiet? I wanna read about Madonna's age mystery! Black hipster girl: Look at that bitch's hands! Case closed. --2 Train Overheard by: not from th...

Toddler at bus stop, throwing a fit: No! I don't want to get on the bus! Bus driver: Come on! The bus is a fun place! Nearby passenger: Yeah, I love the bus! Why don't you join us? Boy's mother: Ge...

Girl: I think I have gout. Look at my fat knees! Guy friend: Are you sure you're not just having self-image issues? --Starbucks, 96th & Madison
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Teen girl holding up lacy thong to friend: Yo! Anita! Get dis one! Friend: Nah. I already got those! Remember? I wore them for those pictures. --Strawberry, Union Square
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Hobo to teen girl with an Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt: Fitch...Fitch... How can you wear a shirt like that? Multimillion dollars...when there's so many bigger problems? Stupid...stupid. Girl: Um, e...

Girl #1: Aw, you look like a cute bum. Girl #2: Thanks! --Leon M. Goldstein High School Overheard by: Robert
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(teenage girl goes to stand next to her friend in line for the bathroom) Crazy hobo: Bitch, get to the back of the line! I gotta take a shit! Teenage girl: Oh, I'm not in line, I'm just talking to ...