Girls Are Pretty

Someone ate your pudding. You put your name on it, dated it, just like the sign on the break-room fridge says to do. You put it in the crisper drawer, even, because you know these fucking animals c...

The emails have been pouring in all day long. "Great job on last night's NCIS!" "Hey I thought I already saw that episode but I must have missed you the first time!" "I didn't know you even acted, ...

There’s a guy who lives in your building who looks to have the perfect life, the one you used to dream you’d have. He’s got a great job (he’s a flammability tester, lighting stuff on fire all day t...

Go on a game show where contestants jerk it to a particular piece of porn while the audience watches, then the audience gets to vote on who had the strongest connection to the porn they were matche...

She’s furious as she browses through a magazine about the elderly, ripping the pages from the staples she’s turning them so hard. You try to make a move.
“I’m going blind. You?”
She looks up from ...

Something’s happened to the teenagers in America. They’re all turning into conscienceless beasts who want to do nothing but have sex with each other, drink alcohol, and murder non-teenagers with th...

As is obvious, Girls Are Pretty is on break for the holidays. Hope you all are having a good one.
It's nearing the end of the first year of "Cruelty." I hope everyone who bought "Happy Cruelty Day!...

There’s a killer virus going around and everyone has it but you. Your friends, your family, your boss, even your mailman. They’re all being crippled with violent vomiting and convulsions and eye so...

Your algebra teacher and your English teacher are both bitter, angry individuals who love failing you. You’ve been trying to come up with a way to get both of them off your back, and the most econo...

Today you’re going to wake up in a raft speeding along some rapids towards a giant waterfall and you won’t remember how you got there. You drink too much.
PS: Check out HAPPY CRUELTY DAY! It's the ...