Overheard in New York

Woman with baby to subway attendant: How do I get to the Empire Trade Center from Canal St? Friend: Nah, how do we get to where them Twin Towers fell at? --Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
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Drunk redhead: What's your name again? Not-so-drunk brunette: It's Autumn. Drunk redhead: You mean like the month? --41st St
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Girl #1: We had to go out and drink tonight, it's Lincoln's birthday! He did so much for us. Girl #2: Without Lincoln being born we might never have freed the slaves, and if we never freed the slav...

Construction worker #1: My girlfriend is being deported. Construction worker #2: Why, 'cause she's illegal? Construction worker #1: No, 'cause she's a fucking whore. --38th St & 9th Ave
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Flyer girl: Macbeth with Patrick Stewart! Tourist: Is that a magician? --TKTS
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Druggie #1: No. Technically, if you don't have anything on you, they can't arrest you. Druggie #2: Are you suggesting we smoke naked? --Columbia University
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Stoner preteen #1: I wonder if we could travel to the sun. Stoner preteen #2: Yeah, dude. I wonder what would happen if we stood on it. Stoner preteen #1: Our feet would totally burn. --R Train
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Guy: Jimmy wrote a rap. Girl: Is it good? Guy: It was... "I'ma fuck her, I'ma fuck her, I'ma fuck her, I'ma fuck her in different ways." Girl: Oh. --Park Slope Overheard by: Alex Berger
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Barista: Weren't you showing me some German porn just a little earlier? Patron: It was not porn! It was a music video! With...lots of naked German men in it. Barista: And the difference is what, ex...

Guy #1: Shoot him in the dick! Girl playing Big Buck Hunter: I like dicks, but usually I make them do the shooting! Guy #2: I like where this is headed! --Black Bear Lodge Overheard by: DR G LUV
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