Overheard in New York

Guy #1: God, I'm tired. Guy #2: Do you want me to punch you in the head or something? --6th & Martin
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Bus conductor: Next stop, Atlantic City. Passengers: Huh?! Bus conductor: Ah! I mean Amsterdam Avenue! Passenger #1: Hmmmm, are we safe on this bus? --M4 Bus
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Girl #1: So you know how New York buses have two doors, a front and a back? Well, I was running to catch the bus this morning and I got up to the back door and the bus drove away. Girl #2: Harsh. G...

Drunk girl on cell: What? Did you just call me a bitch? Drunk guy five rows behind her: She called you a bitch? Kick her ass! Drunk girl on cell : That's like...psychologically impossible. Business...

Ghetto bum to Asian: Yo man, let me get yo seat. Asian guy (calmly): Do I look Native American to you? You can't just come and take shit from me. Bum: Oh, sorry about that! (he asks person next to ...

Suit: Dan, I said you were supposed to dress up for the bake sale. Dan: I'll let you know that I only have two genres of clothing in my closet: Shorts and t-shirts...and a priest costume. And the p...

Husband to wife: I can't tell if this is a circus or a zoo. Random gay passerby: Oh my god! It's a zoo! Wife to husband: Well, I guess that clears that up. --The Armory Show, Pier 94
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Black guy #1: Nigga, fuck you! I'm straight. Black guy #2: Nigga...you're straight gay. --Roosevelt Ave Station Overheard by: just straight
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Male tourist: Supposedly they are trying to change their image. Woman tourist: To what? Less slutty? --South Street Seaport Overheard by: Alyx
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Thug #1, about classes taken in juvenile detention: I took nutrition. It was good, because I want to be in nursing, and it's like...wellness. Thug #2: Yeah, well, I took culinary. It was sweet, cuz...