Overheard in New York

Female bartender: And so, now that she is pregnant she is going to get married. Male bartender: That's horrible. Is the dad the father? --45th St & Broadway
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College student #1 (in reference to muttering homeless person): She's a crazy lady. College student #2 (in kind and benevolent voice): She's not a crazy person...she just has craziness. --Queens St...

Girl #1: Hey, what's up? Girl #2: I'm gonna kick you in the throat. Girl: Okay... --B9
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Intoxicated girl to another: So, I went into Sleepy's the other day... Apparently, you're not allowed to sleep in there. --Belle Harbor, Queens Overheard by: redxdress Woman coming out of bathroom ...

Teacher: My father always told me, "Never run away from a fight. If the guy's bigger than you, hit him. If he gets back up, hit him again. If he gets back up again, hit him with a garbage can. If h...

Ghetto guy on cell: And then he asked me if he was gonna go to heaven and I said, "You ain't going to heaven, you are going to thug mansion!" --125th St & Amsterdam Thugette to thug: I killed him b...

Ghetto bum to Asian: Yo man, let me get yo seat. Asian guy (calmly): Do I look Native American to you? You can't just come and take shit from me. Bum: Oh, sorry about that! (he asks person next to ...

Suit: Dan, I said you were supposed to dress up for the bake sale. Dan: I'll let you know that I only have two genres of clothing in my closet: Shorts and t-shirts...and a priest costume. And the p...

Husband to wife: I can't tell if this is a circus or a zoo. Random gay passerby: Oh my god! It's a zoo! Wife to husband: Well, I guess that clears that up. --The Armory Show, Pier 94
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(tipsy older couple staggers out of book party) Lady: What was it you said before that was so funny? Craggy geezer: "When I was teeny I saw my papa's weenie." Lady: I love it! --Mercer St
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